Why Don't You Poll Yourself?

Why Don't You Poll Yourself?

Never mind President Joe Biden’s slumping poll numbers, which are in the low 40s at this writing. What about you and me?

(To be fair to Joe, his predecessor left office with a dismal 34 percent approval rating.) But that’s enough fairness for one column.

So how are we doing in 2022? Here’s what Gallup or Quinnipiac or your average American will want to know about you and me before passing judgment. I already took the quiz. Now it’s your turn.

  1. Are you going to the gym three times a week as you vowed you would this year?
  2. How about once, have you made it there once yet?
  3. Do you even remember where the gym is, Jim?
  4. And, Jim, are you still leaving the toilet seat up?
  5. So, Joan, did you vote in 2020? How about in the 2018 midterms?
  6. Are you two even registered to vote?
  7. Can you name Connecticut’s two senators?
  8. Your representative in Congress?
  9. How about turn signals, do you:

A. Always use them
B. Sometimes
C. Never
D. I am politically opposed to turn signals

  1. Do you recycle?
  2. How about composting?
  3. Do you pay your taxes?
  4. ALL your taxes?
  5. Are you against socialism but cash your monthly Social Security check anyway?
  6. Are you in debt up to your eyeballs?
  7. Do you floss regularly?
  8. How about once a month?
  9. Have you ever parked in a handicapped space?
  10. Have you called out when you weren’t sick?
  11. Have you gone to work when you were sick?
  12. Have you used the express checkout at the supermarket with 83 items in your cart?
  13. Have you forgotten your significant other’s birthday?
  14. Anniversary?
  15. Do you have a fake vaccination card? (They go for a couple hundred bucks. The shots are free)
  16. Do you lie about: your age, weight, height, IQ, or marital status?
  17. Did you answer all of the above truthfully?

To be honest, I didn’t do so well. My poll numbers are projected to be in the low single digits. Of course, I may have mis-answered a few of my own trick questions. I better go back and double check.